Trying to arrange my work schedule with both jobs to provide for a comfortable and less-stressful me. I have a set schedule that I desire, but whether it will work out is the big question.

I have set myself a maximum limit of 45 hours per week between both of my jobs. That number is something that I feel comfortable with and still have money to make.

I came to this conclusion because at the worst time of my life, I was working around 55-60 hours a week between the newspaper and the Shell station. I was stressed out. I didn’t sleep a whole lot, and the overwhelming overthinking inside me led to some horrible situations – in particular the falling out with my ex-best friend.

In the 13 months since all of that happened, I’ve been trying to weigh a balance between comfort and income. I feel okay with capping my weekly hours at 45, and likely in the form of 3 Casey’s days, 3 newspaper days, and 1 completely-off day. I’ve had more co-workers approach me with the concern of lack of sleep and job performance. Each time that happens, I ponder all of the stuff that happened 13 months ago – as much as I try to forget about all of that. About a month ago, I was running ragged at about 55 hours a week, and going without sleep for a good stretch.

Personal comfort is important to me, and I’m realizing that my family, friends, and co-workers are starting to understand this. Free time is something I value, because it gives me opportunities to spend time with friends and family.

Topping out at 45 hours per week may not seem like many hours compared to a lot of men my age. My situation is unique because I do not have a girlfriend, or have children, for motivation to keep me going.

My father wanted to be a teacher, and went as far as taking a semester of classes in college right after high school. Then I was born, and he got a job packing meat at IBP. I’m sure the motivation was caring for this particular newborn. Then when my brother Michael was born, my dad joined the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers – a journeyman/wireman electrician’s union – and makes a lot of money doing that. He’s been doing this for almost 30 years now, and is currently working 14-hour nights at the nuclear plant in Cordova.

Dad has five presences of motivation to do what he does: my mom, myself, Mike, Chris, and Dan.

I don’t have any such presences of motivation. I have no girlfriend. I have no children. Perhaps if I did, it would give me the motivation to work more and work harder.

I tried doing that the best I could when I had 3 particular presences of motivation. I once kept a picture of my ex-bestie’s children on my television stand – people that meant a lot to me. Then, with a slam of a door, they were out of my life.

The picture frame is empty right now, probably boxed up in my attic. Sometimes I wish I still had that picture.